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Why you shouldn't name your carwash after THIS Monster.

Mel Ohlinger • Feb 22, 2021

T-rex yes. Godzilla no.

Several people have suggested a Godzilla car wash. While this would make a  memorable carwash AND a super fun brand, it’s not a great idea, but there are many terrifying monsters you could choose instead - like T-Rex.

To understand why you might want to choose T-Rex over Godzilla, let's review the differences between an iconic creatures like Tyrannosaurus Rex and Godzilla:


T-REX

1.

Huge head.


2.

Eats everything.

 
3.

Tiny arms.


4.

Smooth back and tail.


5.

Believed to be extinct.

 

GODZILLA

6.

Small head.

 
7.

Muscular arms.

 

8.

Stands erect.

 

9. 

Spines on back and tail


10.

Retains aggressive lawyers.


Item 10 is the critical one. 

According to numerous articles in the business press, Mr. Godzilla has an army of lawyers eager to pounce. They routinely force businesses to change their name, removed products from the market, obtain large sums from large corporations and small businesses, and force songs to drop their Godzilla music.


Add “zilla” to anything and you’ll probably get a letter asking you to stop. Add it to your parade float (like Honda did in 1990) and you'll be in litigation for years.


Why is Godzilla so litigious? It’s because Godzilla is the property of Toho, a Tokyo-based business that earns a zillion dollars each year by licensing Godzilla music, movies, toys, posters and other tie-ins. These scary lawyers aggressively protect the radioactive behemoth from anyone who dares to appropriate his lizardly image or sound for profit.


So don't have a Godzilla car wash... or any kind of zilla car wash. Godzilla is car wash cool and scary, but his lawyers are even worse.


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